Do you care what other people think?

This came to me because I was remembering some of the decisions I’ve made over the years and reflecting on the more important decisions, particularly when it comes to the crunch, do we make our own decision or do we make decisions based on whether we will please the people around us?

Stand out and be you don't get lost on the crowdAgain I know there is no right answer the answer to this question is an individual one and it will vary from person to person, and that’s great. I’d like to share my views on this. To me the big decisions I have made in my life are things like selling my business, leaving my job in the first place to go self-employed, and choosing to leave a relationship. Those kind of things.

And when I look back at what I did at the time ultimately the decision was mine and mine alone. And I think with any decision in our lives deep down inside any decision is our own, and there are people who will think you’re bonkers and who will say you shouldn’t make the decision you make, the question really is, do we allow these people to influence us or do we stay true to ourselves?

Leaving corporate life

For example way back in 1996 I left the corporate world and I chose to set up in business on my own, this was largely driven by the fact that I hated my job and I didn’t really see what else I wanted to do, and also a craving the independence I suppose.

I was a qualified accountant and at the age I was then I firmly believed that I would easily get another job if the self employment didn’t work out. So I had my fallback position, the worst case scenario was I set up on my own, it didn’t work so I could get another job.

They didn’t like it…

Simple for me …. for everybody else, people thought I was mad, people thought I was crazy, people thought I was brave – which made me smile, I thought it was a fairly normal sort of thing to do, perhaps because I mixed with people who were self-employed as well as people were employed, and so I didn’t really think of it as anything to worry about.

I didn’t see it as anything too scary, yes it was scary to have no clue where to start but it didn’t seem to me to be an illogical decision, and yet I was surrounded by people telling me how brave I was. Which I think is because their mindset with was around staying in a job until you draw your pension because “that’s what you do”, that’s what culture says, that’s how it works, that’s what’s expected of you etc

And to be honest had I listened to all those people I would no doubt have spent many years in other accounting jobs in corporate positions doing something I didn’t enjoy.

How it would be different..

How would that influence the rest of my life? my lifestyle? Perhaps I’ve lost out on some income but what about the freedom I have? would I have the same friends?

I don’t know but I suspect I would be very unhappy, and the bottom line is for me I didn’t really care what other people thought, I knew it was right for me, it had been building up for a long time and that was all that mattered.

And I think we need to be true to ourselves, I know I’ve said this before in other blogs but I do think it’s true and when it comes to the big decisions, and even the small decisions to be honest, but the biggies like selling a business, or keeping a job, or leaving a relationship, only YOU know and even if you don’t want to admit it and you want reassurance from other people that you’re doing the right thing, underneath you know.

I think we are only ever seeking reassurance, we’re never seeking somebody else to make the decision for us. Sometimes it feels like it will be easier if we could act on advice, and we are helped by what others say, but we always know what’s true, we may or may not acknowledge it, or want to acknowledge it!

You know inside

I believe that deep down inside you always know the right decision to you and you always know the right way to go, and that brings back the question “do you care what other people think?”

If you know its true does it matter what anyone else thinks or says? I would urge you to say no it doesn’t, to let go of the attachment to other peoples opinions and to listen to yourself, to what’s true to you, particularly with the big decisions.

And if you need support, that’s OK just seek out someone to help you who will listen to what’s true for you, rather than anyone who will give you advice based on what is true to them.

And if you are struggling with a decision or looking for some reassurance, why not take advantage of a free Authentic Business Strategy Session? 20-30 min focused time to get more clarity

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