Why As Women Do We Have Trouble Receiving?

Women often struggle to receive in modern timesWhat is it about society today that has meant so many women have so much trouble just receiving?

Being able to receive is something we all have to accept as a part of life, yet it is so often very hard to do. In these days of independence and fending for yourself what stops us being open to offers of help, being able to accept and receive what is being offered/given to us?

All too often women are caught between being the giver, the one who does the looking after, and being independent, whether through need or cultural pressure. To the extent that they actually put up a good fight if help or gifts are offered, even driving away the person making the offer.

It sounds crazy yet many are only happy when they are doing the giving, whether it be time, expertise, favours, good deeds… even money for some

And all the time they take it for granted that what they have to offer will be received and accepted willingly. Why be happy to give and not receive?

I think there is a fear of vulnerability, or being seen as not good enough, not capable of doing everything for yourself, and a kind of need to prove that you are a survivor.

Yet naturally it is a part of our feminine role to be receptive, as well as nurturing and caring. wholeness and balance are in there too…. I think it is often something women have to relearn in this modern age, where culture has taken them off track.

Barbara Marx Hubbard has talked about building the feminine aspect of receptivity within us in order to join with the masculine aspect of genius that is also within each of us. As like everything it is all ultimately about balance.

And sadly I think too many of us are not living in balance

What are your experiences or thoughts?

Top Tips For Running A Successful, Purpose Driven Business

Top Tips from Julia McdaidToday is the day you can hear my interview on the Soulfully Successful Women Telesummit.

One of the things Kelly and I talked about in preparation for the Telesummit were my top tips to build a successful business from your passion and purpose. After thinking about this I came up with these, and I thought you might find them useful.

Firstly is follow your heart. If you are not familiar with the phrase, learn to understand what this means. To me it’s about doing it YOUR way, BEing you, being authentic and in integrity. Following your heart is about doing what is true for you, what you wnt deep down inside when yu stop listening to all those doubts and questions in your head! Its not what is expected or what you know. In fact I can’t emphasise enough, don’t just do what you know – unless it really is your passion and purpose.

The next thing I would say, which really follows on from the first is to connect with your intuition, and use it. It is your intuition which will guide you and tell you what is true for you, this is what allows you to follow your heart.

Another thing that many of us as women need to learn, because we are not very good at it, is to learn to receive. We women are naturally givers and often find this hard to do. Again this may need more explanation and understanding, I know it would have meant little to me when I started out. Here I’m referring to allowing your feminine side out, to allowing things to come to you, to be graceful and gracious and open in the way you interact. When you start thinking about attracting the right clients and people to you it pays to know how to receive (not dismiss things without thinking!).

I think it is great to remember to keep things balanced too, although this is enough to be a blog in itself and I have written about it before. Part of this is knowing you are number one, put you first. Then also think about masculine & feminine energies in the business, and in you; about having time for the non work aspects of your life, the people and things that are important to you.

And a couple of more practical tips for you:

Get the right support network around you. This will allow you to play to your strengths. so look at advisors, mentors, peers, the people you interact with and look to for help. Plus your business structure, you can set this up so that it works for you and your lifestyle, delegating where appropriate and so on – learn to delegate well. This one is still on my “must do better” list I will be honest, I find it hard sometimes.

And when it comes to using people outside of the business to help you, especially if you are paying them, don’t use advisors who only have corporate experience, because they won’t get you and they won’t understand the peculiarities of small business, whatever they might say. This is one I learned the hard way.

And finally, this kind of ties into where I started, do let go of the “shoulds” and “ought to’s“. If you are running a purpose driven business it’s about your passion, your purpose, you and your clients, it’s not about what somebody else who doesn’t know those things says you should do. Yes there are some things you have to comply with legally, every business does, outside that its your business, your way, always.

I hope you find some of these tips useful and if you have any good ones, please do share them 🙂

Let YOU Shine Through

Let the real you shineThis phrase has become my new tagline, because I think it really embraces what Authentic Edge is all about.

I want to support you in transforming the way you engage with life, so that you are showing up as the real you and you are as committed to yourself and your business as you would be to someone you were about to marry.

When you have a feminine structure in your life and know exactly who you are, the real YOU can shine through. And life flows then, things feel easier, you will certainly be (even) happier and you will feel in love with life.

It’s very easy in our world to get sidetracked and distracted from what we want and love to do. To slip out of being who we are and get caught in the day to day stuff that comes up. How often do you find your mood or behaviour influenced by the news, the media or others around you?

Do you feel under pressure to conform, to fit in? I appreciate there is a level of expectation in our society. Does this get you down?

At the end of the day all those expectations are outside of you, they represent other people’s views and thoughts. And I’m sure you already know the only person you can change is you. The only influence you really have is on yourself and how you decide to respond and show up.

I invite you to take some quiet time, take a break from the hustle and bustle and noise, and just allow who you are and what you want to surface. Ask yourself questions if it helps. Sit and reflect on how you want your life to be and who you are, really, deep down.

And if it isn’t who you are bringing to the world at the moment, how might you change this? What could you do differently?

Do you know when you are the real you in the world you will automatically attract the right people around you? By being true to yourself those who resonate with you will be naturally attracted to you.

And what I have found is that people who are being true to themselves, who are coming from their heart rather than their head, they do shine. They radiate love and beautiful energy.

I am pleased to know a lot of people who spend a lot of time in this place and being in their company is both energising and a delight.

Is the real YOU shining through? I don’t care if you don’t conform. I don’t care if you’re quirky. That’s real . Real is tangible. And in my view it’s the way the world is moving.

This blog was inspired by my superstar client Shannon Eastman, when we were discussing her website, and it was just really obvious to me that instead of trying to change her out of date business website, she replace it with her personal one www.shannoneastman.com. This site really shows her as a person as well as a marketer and business woman, and was actually just what she needed.

I’d love to hear about your own experiences, please add a comment or email me.

The Benefits of Using Feminine Qualities and Values in Your Business

In 2013, it is estimated that that 12.4 million businesses are owned by women and that 45.7% of those are highly successful. This is far beyond the average, so how are they doing it? We had a look at some of our favourite female business owners and had a look at how they grew their businesses and some of the qualities and values they possessed.

Successful women stay feminineAll of these women were highly passionate about their businesses. A traditionally feminine trait, passion is a fantastic tool for business as it gives you the fire to succeed.

They were humble, yet willing to learn. Women running businesses is a relatively new phenomenon, a lot of them start with humble backgrounds and are eager to learn and improve themselves.

They get to know their fellow workers. They network and gain acceptance from their peers when moving up the career ladder compared to a lot of their masculine counterparts. This allows them to get on and get on better with their employees when they are running their business.

They ask and collaborate. Their feminine qualities mean that they are quicker to ask for help and collaborate more easily, whether they are the leader or otherwise. This means that they can often learn quicker and complete complicated tasks easier.

They let others lead occasionally. Those with more feminine qualities delegate easier and allow the power to be passed down through the organisation to allow others to be in charge when required. The key to this is being able to listen to their leadership team and react to the situation accordingly.

They are more self aware. A more feminine business leader is more attuned as to how their colleagues view them. They tend to be less aggressive, more approachable and more likely to help.

They are more open to improving a workplace social culture. This allows their employees and their talents to be supported and grow more efficiently. This has a knock on effect on the positivity of the company in general.

They focus on others as well as themselves. Feminine business owners don’t just focus on themselves and their business. They focus on team building and developing a positive, faithful workforce.

Together, the qualities and values demonstrated above show how most women, and some enterprising men, use the power of femininity to improve their business and help it grow. What values will this article inspire you to tap into? Can you harness your inner feminine and improve your business too?

Choosing Happiness – An Experiment

I have read a couple of blogs recently referring to happiness. I find it fascinating to read different views. Whilst I might not have said so when I was younger (and less wise), I do think that happiness is a choice.

Inner glow from choosing happinessIt’s something we hear quite a bit these days, and yes I know some readers will rubbish this view, that you can improve your abundance/attraction etc by raising your vibration, which you do by being happy & grateful.

Have you ever tried it though? I mean don’t knock it if you haven’t. Seriously.

I did an experiment back in the summer, one evening I was meeting friends for a meal, so on the train I focussed on “raising my vibration” and being in my heart. And what happened?

Firstly I caught sight of myself in the window of the tube, grinning without realising, secondly I was conscious of people looking at me in the restaurant (in a good way), and thirdly one of my girlfriends asked me whether I had been away or had a facial. All I had done was activate my inner glow.

I do believe you can drop into this space very easily once you have done it and know what works for you. OK I know we can’t all stay there all the time, it takes conscious effort especially to start with.

Why not choose to try it out?

Why do I work with women and how is that different?

I was prompted to write this blog by a conversation I had at a networking event the other night. because I focus on working with women people often ask me why, and the truth of the matter is it’s not something I’ve ever done before in my life and I followed my heart.

What do I want to do?

So in many ways there isn’t any logical reason why I do what I do and the work I do with my clients is something I can obviously do with men and with women, but what I have done is spend a lot of time checking in with what my intuition says and what my heart would love to do.

I can support people growing a business (male or female) but when I check in and when I looked at what I would really truly love, what makes my eyes fill with tears is having an impact on women.

I remember a talk I went to a couple of months ago by Paul Dunn, and he was suggesting the audience do an exercise where you ask somebody why they do what they do, and then you keep on asking why. As you do this you go deeper and deeper and eventually you get to a point where you more or less can’t speak, you cannot say what’s in your mind because it’s so true for you that you’re filling up with tears.

And for me what gets me in that space of deep love, is when I say I want to see the impact I can have on women, and how many women I can have an impact on, and that’s where I hit that point. So it really is just following my heart and staying true to what my heart and soul would love to do, there is no logic, it’s not a logical decision, it’s not planned, its just the way things have turned out.

The beautiful thing is being around authenticity I am helping these women be true to themselves and bring their own true values and their heart to their business, and I am doing that myself. Clearly if I’m talking about and teaching others authenticity to be practising it myself is always a good thing, it makes me feel very genuine and very true. And it doesn’t mean I’ll never work with men, or never do work with men.

There is such a growth of the feminine in the world at the moment, there is a growth and a movement towards being feminine and using feminine energy and there’s a big movement towards being real in my view, and I just really truly believe that if I can help in that in any way it’s just where I want to be.

Often when I’m in my head thinking about it, it makes no sense to me at all and I do sometimes have a conflict with that, but the bottom line is when I connect to my heart and what my heart would love, my heart would love to have an impact on a lot of women, and the way I’m being led to do that at the moment is supporting them in the business.

So that is why and where I am at, that is why I created Authentic Edge and that is why I’m doing what I’m doing at the moment.
That’s why I’m here and I’d love to help you get to the place of really knowing where you are as well.

The World is Shifting to Feminine

There is a lot of talk around these days about the world changing, and a part of that is the thought that there is a rise in feminine energy.

Feminine world

The thinking is that for a number of centuries this world we live in has been dominated by the masculine energy, which is the cause of the wars and conflict. Masculine energy having competitiveness and a need for power, being very driven, and an underlying aggression. Yet over recent years there has been a rise in feminine energy, a move towards wanting a peaceful world, towards collaboration and connection, a more compassionate and inclusive place to live.

We are probably all aware that we have both masculine and feminine energies within us, and I personally see an increase in women connecting with their inner feminine and who they really are. There is a quiet revolution going on and the world Is slowly changing. We see more women appointed as leaders around the world, there are more women in sports, politics, business. And men too are connecting to their feminine side, we see more creativity, more openness, it is acceptable to express emotion, cry even, they happily look after children.

Obviously we all need a balance of both energies to thrive, both as individuals and in our businesses. There is though a growth in the feminine side even in business, more connecting, cooperation, unity, imagination and intuition, right brain if you like. We are coming back to balance.

I’d love to hear your views

(just for the avoidance of doubt we’re not talking feminism, nor am I saying either energy is better or worse than the other)